So, there’s something up and misfiring, and I’m not sure what. I think being sick really knocked me off kilter. It got me out of my schedule and routine of going to the gym at specific times in the AM and PM. I had the whole week scheduled out, and it was working out well. Then I got sick. Fuck those people who don’t clean the benches after themselves. But regardless … here we are on a spin off.
So, tonight I’m going to try and alter a med or two. My therapist and I have already talked about this thing, and I’m really responsible and self-aware. I think … I think it should be my mood stabilizer. I’m not sure if we are in a manic state where I need to adjust my antipsychotics. This is a different sort of feeling – just off of the bubble … hence the adjustment of the mood stabilizer. ( I don’t call myself smart with no evidence … obviously, I’m brilliant to figure that out.)
My room is a disaster, my articles are a disaster, for some reason I’ve been ordering all these creams and such for my aging skin. So that’s a whole mess. Never cared about it before, so guess I’m paying the price now??? Literally. Well, like the $20/jar stuff … not the outrageous, stupid shit. I try to fake myself out with the cheap stuff … not like any of it does anything so me trying to fool myself doesn’t cost me much. I am easily fooled, as my track record of men proves.
Okay, okay, okay … tomorrow I’m going to sort shit out. Right now I’m going to gym as I missed my AM session and I want to skip out on tonight, but my daughter is my partner. I pick her up at work and we hit the gym on way home, I literally drive right past it so there’s no excuse.
I really would like a partner in life ~ if nothing else to help keep me from swarving off the edge of the road. Just a partner to go do things with, go to gym or whatever. or just talk to. IDK – stupid head of mine always in the could of never never land.
Off I fly – tick tock in the croc.
Distorted Clarity 