The other day I said I was loyal to someone even before I really knew them, and I thought of it as an attribute of mine. Like it was something they should appreciate. Later I thought about it and realized how unfair that is to myself, and it really isn’t loyalty at all, but some type of need for acceptance or acknowledgement.
I was trying to make myself seem more attractive to someone because I was promising them loyalty … yet I don’t even know them very well. That not only devalued myself, but the value of my loyalty if I just gave it to anyone.
Just a wandering messy soul trying to navigate the distorted worlds of my mind, body, heart, soul and spirit. Sometimes by sight, sometimes by sounds, sometimes by feel, sometimes even by smell and taste.. and sometimes by all or none.
I actually have no intention of “publishing” this or share with any need for acceptance, understanding, insight…
Just getting it out. Just letting it come out.
I experience and express life through words, the written word. Somehow the chaos of my mind is able to grab and sort the letters swirling around and place them in some order.
And this is how I find … my distorted clarity.
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Distorted Clarity 