Another grouping of bits throughout day. I used this earlier to try and figure out what turned me down into dark “end of days” zone. It was not a pretty weekend.
Rapid cycling sucks, being a bipolar Mum sucks, living this life and not being able to control my brain and emotions and moods and … sometimes it’s all just too much.
This was the bringing. Yesterday, Feb 26 was double rough. I am not including the videos I took during my breakdowns. I’m not sure I can even watch them myself. But just talking out loud keep me holding on to reality … a reality that was destroying me, but I had no other choice.
Just a wandering messy soul trying to navigate the distorted worlds of my mind, body, heart, soul and spirit. Sometimes by sight, sometimes by sounds, sometimes by feel, sometimes even by smell and taste.. and sometimes by all or none.
I actually have no intention of “publishing” this or share with any need for acceptance, understanding, insight…
Just getting it out. Just letting it come out.
I experience and express life through words, the written word. Somehow the chaos of my mind is able to grab and sort the letters swirling around and place them in some order.
And this is how I find … my distorted clarity.
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Distorted Clarity 