Category Archives: Doctoral Odyssey

All these webinars … I have to do something. Also justifies why I shouldn’t have my camera on.

Just a great day at the gym (wink, wink.. nudge, nudge) and reviewing some articles for future reference. Also, think I’ll try something a bit different tomorrow. Oh – and a cameo by Cody.

Another night terror last night but shaking it off and reviewing a schedule for hopefully a good day.

My Professor sent me this link … haha.

**** I am posting here so it doesn’t get lost in my hard drive of chaos **** Again, another attempt to figure out methods to help me remember what I was thinking. I was so excited after the gym, and instead of just going about my day, I wanted to get my ideas down beforeContinue reading “Talking out the articles … processing”

So with my working memory I have to run through things multiple times, in different ways. So I process it over and over through different modalities and then it will finally stick a bit. So while these may be boring, I am experimenting if this is a method of helping me remember and solidify myContinue reading “Working Memory, Research sites, routine … no more boo hoo.”

I found this video that hit really close to home…

I felt this was important to share – in case anyone is watching. Panic attacks are common, as are intrusive thoughts. My PTSD can disrupt my sleep, but this was different. I was wide awake and freaking out watching it all. The thoughts were excruciating, and the shame overwhelming. Sufficating and utter fear. I think it’sContinue reading “Panic attack and suicidal thoughts.”

Let’s give it a go. I have a LOT of questions for myself.

And a big red sick clown nose … I am so over this.

We are going to get it back .. not try,.. do. but it’s hard. To go back to lazy and sorry for self, lost and not even seeking anymore, Yes, I was sick and I couldn’t go to the gym, but I didn’t have to fall off everything. Because I had promised myself and IContinue reading “Encouragement from a male voice…”

Okay… I think having my one friend moving away today maybe has caused some stress. they had to charter a medivac flight to lower 48, crazy money but they need to get him home before it’s too late. I often wonder what I’d do if I got cancer. I don’t think anything, not even sayContinue reading “Waiting”

So, there’s something up and misfiring, and I’m not sure what. I think being sick really knocked me off kilter. It got me out of my schedule and routine of going to the gym at specific times in the AM and PM. I had the whole week scheduled out, and it was working out well.Continue reading “Something is going on.”

This was suppose to be a private personal video – but it turned into something else.

Rambling organization, highs & lows, personal relationships, self-worth, and time… it’s just all over the place. I’m not sure if this is helping at all. Maybe getting over myself and the camera phobia, but not sure it does much good for helping me be more productive. I’m not really sure about anything at the moment.Continue reading “Not sure if this helps at all …”

Finding that this isn’t going to work if I don’t really think there’s anyone paying attention. There’s no sense in declaring something for the sake of being held accountable if there’s no one to declare it to. So …

I did this video this AM when I remembered I had written something down last night. I did not realize how much I ramble, nor how raw things still are about my last teaching position. I obviously have work to do in that area, something that needs to be addressed prior to going into theContinue reading “I forgot I had figured the problem statement out … this is not pretty.”