I’m not sure what’s in my head, I want to write on this but it’s spinning so much and I can’t get it slow enough to see or hear to make sense of it. There’s just so much up there in my head and it’s always trying to sort things out. I wish I could just sit down and write this poem in my head. But it’s going so many different directions so fast. just so fast.
But this concept came to me during my “talk,” and now I’m fixated on it. Even now I’m trying to write and when I look back I’m missing many words in my sentences. It’s all just jumbled. And I have this stress of getting my assignments done. Just pressure on top of a swirling head and the undercurrent of sadness and despair. Why can’t I just be a bit more normal? Why can’t I just get something that slows this down so I can actually address at least one thing in my life.
This is why I just try and talk things out. My fingers are just too slow, but so is my mouth and in the spinning of it all the words aren’t even slow enough for me to formulate sounds. I need some ice cold flavored water and chill. But this poem in me just will not stop. I feel like a mad woman. Which I guess I am. I have so much work to do I don’t need this shit today.
Distorted Clarity 